On Becoming 22

It's March 26. I am officially 22.

So much has happened this past year, so much accomplished, and yet at the same time as I think about it, I still feel so lost and confused about where I'm going, what I'm going to be doing in the next years and what I have left to do.

As one of my friends put it, '22 is the first meaningless birthday'. And while I'm not quite sure its THAT bad, he's right to some extent. 21 was big, because in everything I am not legal, with all the responsibilities and rights that entails. 20 was big because it was the whole 20's thing. 19 was big because it was the last year as a teenager. 18 was big because I could vote and serve in the military. The ones before that were all looking forward to what was to come...

And now I've hit 22. So many things I've wanted to do or say, that I've left undone. So many things I've started but not finished.

I think to myself, have I done all I could to fulfill my calling in what God wants me to be doing? Am I truly where He wants me to be? Have I truly tried to change those things about myself that frustrate me, like my messiness and procrastination? Have I done what I wanted to in my art, or have I only done what I needed to to just pass?

Where will I be next year? Will I be any different, or will I be asking the same questions again?

I don't know. Sometimes I look at what I've done and I see the gaps, the faults, and the failings, and other times I see the successes and accomplishments. Would I really change things if I were to go back in time and fix mistakes or unfinished projects?

I don't know.

[OK, so I went back and read this post, and while it sounds uber depressed and sad, I'm not really that bad. I guess it was just a combination of being tired and kinda introspective on my birthday. BTW, I had a great time tonight with my friends. We had dinner at the Nobel's and they must have had some kind of contact with the parentals because they had many (ok almost all) of my favorite dishes for dinner tonight. After dinner we played games and just had a blast. Thanks Mom and Dad for the input... it was very much appreciated.]

I wish

I wish I was here:

But not here:

Notice the grey sky and bare trees?

Spring Break- the halfway point

So here I am, already halfway through another spring break. Since I haven't gone anywhere, I thought I'd make this spring break a productive one... let's recount and see if I've done that so far.

So far I have:

-Spackled, primed and painted two colors of paint in my roommate's new house with his fiance and other friends (the roommate is off singing around the midwest with Capella- oh does he ever owe us!)
-Cut a woodblock and printed 250 invitations for a friend's wedding, by hand with no press.
-Thrown and finished 6 mugs and 2 jars (had a day where nothing I threw I liked/was good therefore the number does not reflect my time spent in the studio)
-Primed and painted the gallery wall for the new show going up (I get paid for that painting at least)
-Started catching up on some homework I let slide (I know, slap on the wrist)

So Here's what I still have to do this spring Break:
-Find paper and print out the information parts of the invitations for the Postema-VanderKooy wedding
-Work on my one research paper for this semester (maybe get it mostly written??)
-Finish the homework I've been stalling on.
-Hem a painting, maybe two. OK, don't ask on this one... it's too hard to explain right now.
-Glaze my ceramics that have been already bisque fired.
-Reflect on turning 22 this coming Sunday... (ahem...cough cough)

Yep, that's about it. Not too bad, and I've alread accomplished a lot, and even if some of these things don't get done it won't be the end of the world. So... for those of you in Sunny anywhere, I wish I was there... Did I mention that the temp was in the 20's... and grey.... woot for a West Michigan Spring Break...

The Oscars

So it was an entertaining evening with the friends, watching the Oscars and chatting about who and what won, and which we agreed with and which we didn't. Overall, it was a consensus that indeed, 'Crash' was the best movie of the year and so deserving of its award. I saw it last week for the first time, and while I know Em talked about it once, I'll say it again: this movie will change your life. So powerful, so well done, and such an amazing cast.

As for the other categories, it was a good mix, with no one film monopolizing everything, which made for a fun time watching.

Hope your weeks go well.
Can't wait to see mom and dad on Thursday!

it snowed again today

i've been in class for four weeks now, this is the fifth
i don't feel like i've done much work, but i know that i have

spring break is in two weeks

mom and dad are coming up next week
i can't wait

i've submitted my art department scholarship applications
hopefully i'll get a renewal or at least something

justin jonker and i are looking at a duplex for next year
we go to look at it at 1 on saturday afternoon
we still need a third roommate
it's a white on the corner of burton and edgewood

i got two of my drawings from class hung up in the hall
that's big praise from prof. speyers
he scares me sometimes, by being very harsh and critical
but when he gives you praise, you know you've earned it
and my drawing is getting better

i'm not sure what i want to do for spring break
i would love to go home to orlando
plane tickets are expensive and i can't drive down
time in the studio will be good as well though

i have at least three weddings already for this summer
at least that i know i'm getting invited to

i don't believe in giving up things for lent
it's not part of our tradition and kinda meaningless when not heartfelt
my roommate is giving up meat
i decided to add more time of prayer instead

my sociology class is cancled today
it has been raining and freezing all night
i like it that my prof lives in muskegon

mom and dad are coming up next week

spring break is in two weeks

i miss the sun

i'm proposing a show for the downtown gallery
my friend taylor and i want to do it together
keep next october open, at least part of it
it will be unconvential portraits
hopefully our proposal will be accepted
taylor will be doing paintings
i will have ceramic sculptures

it's thursday
i don't have class tomorrow
hooray for the weekend starting early